Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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