I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
