i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
