Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
