I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
