Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
