she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
