my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
