When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
