I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize