uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
