We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
COCAINE IS GR8
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
