She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I believe in your delicious
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
