You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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