that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
