Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
