just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
