Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
