fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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