is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
