I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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