If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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