i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Randomize
