hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize