If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
