Nicole vs. Life
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
