Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
