Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
