btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
