your thong is hanging out like whoa
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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