I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
