lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize