Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
