i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We named our party play list daddy issues
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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