I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
