The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
