can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
