Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
