stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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