think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
