Redeem this text for a blowjob
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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