That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
