The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize