I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
