I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
