I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
