ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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