Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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