So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
