Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
