If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
