whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
