he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
