We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
