this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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