i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
