with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I see more hoeing in ur future
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
