Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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